the trouble with discomfort

the world is an incredibly uncomfortable place to navigate. i’d like it to go back to something else.

the last month has been a veritable shit show. hurricane harvey. then irma. then maria. devistation across texas. florida. barbuda. puerto rico. earthquakes in mexico. then came what is being called the largest mass shooting in contemporary american history.

think about it. harvey went from august 25 to september 3. irma went from august 30 to september 16.  maria went from september 16 to october 3.

that’s right guys. maria was still (is still) an extropical storm when (as) i was writing this. it just keeps going. the destruction has moved, but it keeps going.

we’ve just barely been able to take a breath, and then this massacre in las vegas happens. this thing – which no one is calling terrorism (which is was, in my opinion). the news cycle keeps on spinning. the sadness never has a minute to break.

the sadness never has a minute to break.

being awake is exhausting. reading the internet is exhausting. social media is fucking exhausting. watching tv, listening to the radio, breathing – all of it. exhausting.

i realize that i’m already a little emotionally ‘fragile’. i recognize that. most of the time i embrace it.  i can’t embrace this kind of disorder.

i need a breather. i need a moment to pause and see that there are good things in the world, that it’s not all gloom and doom. that mother nature isn’t trying to fuck shit up (or, to quote a bunch of internet stuff i saw about getting someone to give te fiti the heart). that i can go out with my friends and not worry about some fucking madman shooting things up. that i can take a breath and be happy without the president making a me look like a moron because i live in america. that i can take a breath and be happy. that i can take a breath.

so we can all take a breath

it’s been so hard to breathe lately. it’s been so hard to do anything lately.

i know this can’t go on forever. but the last month has been sisyphean. the rock will be at the bottom of the hill again tomorrow. and it’ll be alright.



Published by Martii

sometimes wordy, often intermittent. insight into my day to day.

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